If, Only If, If And Only If, Chinese, And The Big Bang Theory

Anyone who's watched The Big Bang Theory knows: people who've studied mathematics and science, talk differently than other people.

This often leads to misunderstandings and problems but the thing that seems difficult for a lot of people to grasp is that these problems and misunderstandings aren't completely the fault of math or science people. Often the Math or science people's language is simply better.

This is one of the show's strengths: although people around the main characters find their speech pasterns contrived and complicated, beyond a occasional polite and temporary accommodation, the physicist main character prefers the way he talks and does not see it as a problem. Indeed, though he likes people in general, he wishes they were a lot more like him, rather than what is often portrayed on TV and in Movies, so called "nerds" and "geeks" trying to be more "normal".

It really is a great show, but what could this have to Chinese?

Well, let's look at three common expressions that everyone uses: "if…", "only if…" and finally "…if and only if…".

Let me tell you this: the way anyone who's studied logic, or a field that relies on logic uses these phrases and the way other people use these phrases, is utterly different.

Consider: if you give me money, I'll go to China. This (surprisingly to a lot of people), does NOT imply that if you don't give me money I won't go. It only means what if says: if you give me money, I'll go to china, it says nothing about what I'll do if you don't give me money. I might go anyway. I might not. You just don't know. Giving me money, is a sufficient condition to get me to go to China, it is, however, not necessary.

What happens when you don't give me money is what "only if…" is about. Consider: only if you give me money, I'll got to china. This says exactly what the "if" statement doesn't say, what will happen if you don't give me money: no money, I won't go to China. Surprisingly to a lot of people, it does no say what will happen if you do give me money. I may still not go. Giving me money is a necessary condition to get me to go to China, it is however not sufficient.

If you find this surprising, think about it. It'll do you a world of good.

What if I wanted to say I'll only got to China if you give me money and I go if you won't? Easy, use "…if and only if…": I'll go to China if and only if you give me money. Giving me money is now both a necessary and sufficient condition for me to go to China.

Is that how these terms are normally used? Hardly. Among lay people, as far as I can tell (and I'm far from sure, because regular people don't seem to be sure themselves), "if…" , "…only if…", "…if and only if…" all seem to mean mean the same thing: "…if and only if…" (as described above).

Here's a question: how am I supposed to figure out how to say this in Chinese, given that dictionaries are not written by mathematicians or scientists, and other people use these terms interchangeably (to mean pretty much whatever their whim wishes at the time)? Pretty tough dilemma, huh?

Well, through careful observation and persistent questioning, I think I've figured it out. But, if you are trained in logic (that is, you found the above description boring, sad or funny) and Chinese is your mother language, I need you to confirm I'm right, or tell me why I'm wrong (and ideally tell me how to say it right).

Here we go:

"If you give me money, I'll go to China." I think is "如果你给我钱 我去中国。

"I don't think you can say "only if…" in Chinese. So you have to use a contrapositional transformation. I think the best way to say "Only if you give me money, I'll got to china." is "如果你不给我钱我不去中国。".

Finally, I think "I'll go to China if and only if you give me money." is "只要你给我钱我就去中国。"

Is this all correct? Do you have any comments? Please send me email, send me a message on Google + or, of course, use the comment form below.

Bye the way, here's the theme song to The Big Bang Theory, complete with lyrics.

This is the full version performed by Barenaked Ladies (who wrote the song). The TV version only uses the first verse.

Best Halloween Costume Ever!

Actually, who are we kidding, it's the only good idea we've ever seen for a Halloween costume.

The 99%

Occupy Mordor

Lytro

It's here!

They've got a web site and everything! With pictures!

I want one!

As if you need to know more here's a hands on review.

What To Do About Greece…

From Stratfor:

Occupy Protest Stinks

I have a question… Is this from The Onion or a legitimate Ottawa newspaper:

Occupy Protest Stinks

You know those dirty hippies who gathered in a New York City park last week, and were threatened with eviction for hygiene reasons? They came to Canada on the weekend.

"Dirty hippies" is not an insult. It's an epidemiological assessment of their week-long war against hygiene at a cramped, garbage-strewn, semen-stained camp. The crowning moment was when one hippie defecated on a police car as some sort of political statement.

Not all the Occupy Toronto protesters are dirty hippies. Some of them are professional protesters--folks who go out whenever there's a chance to be counter-cultural. These are the black bloc types who came to agitate in Toronto during the G-20.

Others are union bosses, usually from government unions. That's who created this movement in the U.S. and who promotes it in Canada now.

For them, Occupy Wall Street is a scheme to shift the blame for the U.S. recession away from the White House, and onto someone else other than the Democratic Party.

Banks are still failing in the U.S., unemployment is at 9%, annual deficits there are a trillion and a half dollars, and the U.S. lost its triple-A credit rating. All on President Hope and Change's watch.

So they've come up with new slogans, like the one that claims these protesters represent 99% of Americans, and Wall Street represents the richest 1%. It's class warfare. If it were about helping people, they'd focus on the bottom 10% of Americans. It's the politics of jealousy.

But that sour message isn't clicking in Canada. We haven't had a bank fail.

So not one has been bailed out. Our unemployment rate is 7%. Which is 2% lower than in the U.S. Our national deficit is down to $33 billion. Our credit rating is golden.

Which is why so few people bothered to show up for the Occupy protests across Canada.

By Monday morning, only 20 protesters were left downtown in Toronto's financial district. How did they even know that was a protest? There are longer line-ups at Toronto hot dog carts.

But the CBC, the state broadcaster, went into Olympics- style mega-coverage over the weekend, sending out dozens of reporters and producers to cover the protests as if it were an election. They became a PR agency. They helped organize and promote the events.

One excitable CBC host actually claimed that the protests had spread to "more than 1,000 cities" around the world with "hundreds or thousands" of protesters in each. That's just false; there were protests in a few dozen cities, but in most the number was under 100.

The CBC was engaging in a telethon for the union protests. Not just promoting them, but skillfully editing them, too. They carefully kept off camera any embarrassing yahoos. That's the opposite approach the CBC takes with a genuine protest, like the annual the March for Life rally.

Every year well over 10,000 people march on Parliament Hill against abortion. They don't threaten revolution or anarchy. They don't crap on police cars.

But because they are pro-life, the CBC downplays them. They grudgingly report their rally. And they do their best to hunt for the nuttiest person in the crowd, and pretend that they speak for the whole mass.

I've got an idea. Let's occupy a mega-corporation that demands a yearly $1.1 billion bailout from taxpayers, violates transparency laws and doesn't register its secretive lobbying.

Yeah: Let's occupy the CBC.

Ok, trick question: The Ottawa Sun isn't legitimate.

But it is tremendously popular.

Which tells you about all you need to know now about my hometown.

Just in case you don't believe me, here's the article on the Ottawa Sun's site. It's even got this cute video of the author reading the article and expounding on it.

Did you know "Soviets, Marxists show similar patterns"?

Yes, you read that right "show" not "showed". At the least someone should tell him to conjugate all verbs about Soviets in the past.

Physics Is To Math As…

Log Out Steve Jobs…

Один Грузин, Один Азербайджанец, Один Армянин…